


great escape

by shleesus



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Blood, Crying, F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 06:53:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18383228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shleesus/pseuds/shleesus
Summary: Chaewon recieves a call from Heejin.





	great escape

**Author's Note:**

> for enne, and the 1AM thoughts of ours
> 
> @skinayonce on twitter :)

Chaewon didn’t question why Heejin looked almost despondent and why there wasn’t a day where Heejin isn’t wearing sweaters and long sleeves. She thought it was normal, something common because she’d wear those types of clothes too, especially this winter. Any color and pattern suited her, Heejin had always wore bright colors, but those didn’t reflect her expressions. There were times when Heejin was unresponsive, moments when she’s completely ignoring everything. Chaewon was patient, and she likes to think of herself as understanding. 

 

Days after her concern growing, Chaewon decided to call her every day, though some calls were unanswered, Chaewon convinced herself to accept that Heejin doesn’t have time for everybody. Chaewon didn’t like to bluff, and it was obvious to everyone how much she liked the other girl, so when the day where Heejin didn’t answer any calls, she’d try everything in her power to reach out for her.

 

She’s asked Hyunjin, even Haseul and everyone she knows how Heejin was doing, yet there wasn’t any clear news heard from everybody. Chaewon took it to herself, maybe a visit would be too much. So she had let this day pass, like the breeze on a windy day, not knowing the directions it could lead. 

 

The next day, Chaewon was busy, and couldn’t make a free time until midnight. Even though the sun had already hid itself behind its clouds, and the winds of the cold night called on to her to go home, a call had broke her silent evening. Chaewon immediately picks it up, puts her phone over her ear and she never thought her lips would tremble over saying a simple, “hey.”

 

The other line wasn’t static, it was rather hushed, although unsettled. Chaewon waited for Heejin’s voice to greet her. Instead, a low, almost pitiful enters her ears. It wasn’t unfamiliar, but Chaewon is sure she’s never heard Heejin speak to her like this before. “Where are you right now?” 

 

Chaewon halts her steps from the bridge. She holds her phone tighter, and purses her lips. “Hm?” Chaewon couldn’t find her words. Her tongue felt burned when she tries utter words again. Her throat was becoming itchy. 

 

“Chaewon,” Heejin calls for her. Chaewon grabs on to the railing of this bridge, she needed something she can hold on to. “I need you here. Can you come?” 

 

Chaewon finally exhales. Her chest still felt heavy and there was something pricking her eyes. Those words from her was all it took for Chaewon to run, run to where Heejin wants her to be. Chaewon was always running away from the possibilities of her and Heejin, so much that she no longer knew where she was going. Chaewon didn’t want to sound desperate, but hearing how much Heejin wanted her by her side felt like she was on top of the world. 

 

But Chaewon knows where she’s heading, and there’s nothing holding her back anymore. Yet there was this tone in Heejin’s voice that kept springing at the back of Chaewon’s head. It was filled with melancholy, sounding heavyhearted. Chaewon sprinted upon realizing, even though the pieces of her heart was crying to break. 

 

Chaewon wasn’t aware of the broken home she entered. With loud pants, beads of sweat rolling down her face as she hears the rapid beating of her heart on her ears loud and clear, adrenaline rushed through her veins as she sees the lonely silver lining from the bathroom. Cold winds strays into the humid room and Chaewon’s neck was pulsing through her neck as she swallows the lump in her throat.

 

Chaewon didn’t want to open the door further. She was afraid. She knows Heejin was in there. She doesn’t expect the worse. So instead she calls for her, with the slightest bit of worry, because she knows Heejin never wants to hear her like that. “Heejin?” 

 

There was no response. But a shifting was heard, and now Chaewon wanted to burst in and hug the girl like it’s the end of the world. But she waits. She holds her chest with her small hands, trying to stop the heavy heaving of her body. 

 

Minutes after and there was no response. Chaewon couldn’t wait anymore. There was no rush, and she had barely braced herself to pull the door even the slightest bit, and when she’s able to take a glance inside she gasps, pulling the door open wide. Her feet couldn’t take her anywhere anymore, she couldn’t move at the sight of red and the love of her life.

 

Heejin’s head turns facing her, with eyes bloodshot and cold, lips puckered and dry. Chaewon breaks from the chains tied on her feet and runs towards Heejin, her hand holding her face. “What happened?” Her eyes trail on the slit on her wrists and Chaewon flinches at the blood running down Heejin’s arms. 

 

Chaewon’s breathing becomes erratic and her legs give up and drops on the cold-tiled floor. Heejin kneels before her, mouth trying to speak, but nothing comes out. Chaewon holds back every fiber of her being not to cry. “Can—can I hold your hands?”

 

Heejin could only hums, although with a shudder. Chaewon carefully brings her hands together with Heejin’s rough, numbing ones. “Please tell me you’re okay.” Her voice breaks. Brows furrowing in sorrow as her vision blurs when tears well. She wasn’t going to let these tears fall, not in front of her. 

 

Chaewon inhales to settle herself together, and although she never wants to let go of Heejin’s hands again, she had to. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” It was almost reassuring, the way Chaewon says it. But with panic and discontent, she fails to make the scarred girl feel safe again. 

 

“Can you stand up?” Chaewon had succeeded on not letting her tears fall. Her chest was heaving normally and her hands weren’t trembling anymore. She’s patient, but never calm, so realizes. 

 

“Chaewon…” Heejin’s hoarse voice sounded like she hasn’t spoken for hours, and it wasn’t a shock when Chaewon jumps over the call of her name. She stops her hands from grabbing towels and everything that could help Heejin heal, recover, though, she had no clue. “Stay here.”

 

Chaewon had to force herself to come to her senses. “Heejin, we have to clean those up. Your blood is dripping still.” The way Chaewon’s voice became little at her last sentence was unbecoming. 

 

Heejin gives up and tears her eyes away from the girl, head bopping to the side and eyes landing on the ground again. Her arms were frail and bony, like there was hardly any life in her body left. Slits now scattered around on her pale skin made Chaewon’s heart wrench after she dampens a towel with water and walks towards her cautiously. 

 

“This won’t hurt, I’ll make sure.” Chaewon is surprised at how her voice had become throaty. Heejin only nods but doesn’t give the energy to look at her again. Chaewon pats the towel over the blood on Heejin’s arm like it was the most fragile thing she’s ever touched. Heejin’s stomach twitches for a bit, but she settles down. 

 

Heejin feels her body weakening every minute. Her eyes are drowsy and her hearts aches. But her soul wakes up to the sound of sniffles. Chaewon is crying. 

 

“Hey…” Heejin says as softly as she can, but Chaewon shakes her head, still refusing to admit she’s crying. Heejin brings a hand to caress Chaewon’s head. “I told you—”

 

“I’m not crying,” Chaewon says with a broken voice again, filled with regret and even guilt. She doesn’t allow Heejin to look at her miserable face right now with her head low, focused only on cleaning her cuts. But Heejin knows she is, so she slides her hands down on Chaewon’s cheeks to lift her face up, finally revealing her tearful face. That’s when Chaewon broke. 

 

Tears flowed down her face unceasingly, and she keeps her sobs silent. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Chaewon drops her towel and tries to cover her face from the girl. But Heejin grabs her hands away and wipes the girls tears away with her thumbs, all while shaking her head to soothe the crying girl. 

 

“No, no, no, don’t apologize, Chaewon. Why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault. It’s all on me,” Heejin blames herself. “I’m sorry.” 

 

Chaewon’s tears won’t stop. Her breath is uneven again, she can’t calm herself down, even in the hands of the one she loves. “Why…? Why would you do this to yourself?”

 

Heejin refused to answer. She won’t allow herself to hurt Chaewon further. So instead, she pulls the girl in for an embrace, on the bathroom floor. It wasn’t the most comfortable place to find solace, but it was probably her best choice, and her only choice, Chaewon. 

 

“Please tell me you’ll never do this again,” Chaewon buries her head on Heejin’s shoulder, both of them didn’t care how cold it is in the bathroom floor. They had each other. Maybe that was enough. But both yearned for more, only if they knew. 

 

Heejin doesn’t answer. Chaewon doesn’t take her silence as an answer and pulls her head back to face the doubtful girl. Her tears haven’t stopped then. “I don’t want to see you like this again. Please let me come home to see you happy.”

 

This was the problem. Chaewon never knew what was going on with Heejin, she was all unaware because she spent her days daydreaming and her nights wide awake while Heejin does these things to herself. Chaewon just waited and waited, waiting for anything, any kind of epiphany from the girl inside her heart. Without knowing how Heejin was, how she’s feeling. Both of them suffocated on toxic thoughts. 

 

“Tell me everything, I have so much to give you,” Chaewon confesses. 

 

“Alright,” Heejin runs her fingers on Chaewon’s hair, “I’ll accept anything you give. Don’t cry anymore, okay?”

 

And suddenly the rooms in this house expanded into large spaces both of they can breathe in, the doors aren’t locked anymore, and the windows opens wide like it’s been longing to let comforting air in. It’s been a while ever since Heejin had breathed so freely, so comfortable. And she’s glad her home is right by her clutch, in her scarred arms.


End file.
